Adam vs Eve: It’s a game of sacrifices

By ADAM vs EVE
Published July 22, 2010

EVE: Sacrifice is…:

1. Marriage to Adam
This is the bravest thing for Eve to do. She leaves behind a home she has known since childhood, people, who she loves and love her back unconditionally, to live with a man she has known only for a couple of years (even months) for the rest of her life! If that is not bravery, I don’t know what is.

2. Children
Whether working or stay- at- home, a woman sacrifices a lot of herself when she takes up motherhood. A married African woman is expected to start popping those bundles of joy as soon as she has tied the knot, whether her motherly instincts beckon or not; unless her husband decides otherwise. Some women bear children even when their health is at risk, just to give Adam the family he wants and make him happy.

3. Bad relationships
Most Eves will never walk out of abusive, unfaithful or irresponsible Adams because of their children. They sacrifice their own happiness for their children to enjoy the stability of a family unit.

4. Careers
When Eve gets married, the family comes before her career, or any other dreams and achievements she might have; those are placed a fickle second place. Many are the times she is called upon to choose between her career and her family.

5. Faithfulness
Whereas infidelity among our men is increasingly becoming the norm, and therefore does not attract scorn and disgust (polygamy is African, they claim) a woman, who dares step out of wedlock is christened a whore.

6. Errands
Adam, do you really believe Eve enjoys cooking, washing clothes, cleaning the house, changing stinky diapers, and taking care of whiny children all day long, day in day out?

7. Forgiveness
When it comes to disappointments, Adam is a real expert. Many are the times that Eve has turned a blind eye and forgiven Adam for innumerable heartaches. Eve has always forgiven for the sake of the relationship, hoping the empty promise of reformed behavior, will one day bear fruition.

8. Patience
He will change. That is what Eve keeps telling herself, as she patiently waits for the ‘boy’ to grow up into a responsible man ‘someday’. She courageously stands up for a man no one believes in.

9. Unconditional support
Behind every successful man, is a woman who believes in him, supports and encourages him during difficult times, enabling him to become the man he aspires to be. Most Eves steer their men to success, at the expense of their own advancement.

10. Absolute availability
Unlike Adam who mostly has his priorities jumbled up, Eve works hard to make the relationship stand, and is always willing to make time for her spouse and children, trying anything just to strengthen the family.

ADAM: Having a relationship with Eve is one big hell of a sacrifice

1. Soap operas
Those numerous cheap Mexican soaps need to be washed down the drain, especially when the timing clashes with some manly programmes such as ‘Tahidi High,’ and Eve insists that it is Alehandro she wants to ogle at, and not OJ. Tough sacrifice for Adam.

2. Boys’ outings
The special bond Adam shares with his drinking chums is so deep, that it takes real sacrifice to convince him that he needs to accompany Eve on a Saturday afternoon, to baptism of a friend of a friend of a friend of Eve, or for two hours of window shopping. For peace’s sake, Adam relents.

3. Dinner Dates and Formal Wear
Now where is that moja one shirt and tie, to be worn to Eve’s office dinner, where Adam feels like a dog on a very short leash. But wear the suit and tie, Adam does, all in the name of love. And he says good evening and smiles at stale jokes.

4. Order!
So the toothpaste companies finally learnt what Adam knew ages ago – there is no way a tube of toothpaste can be evenly squeezed for a period of a month. So, they came up with plastic tubes to suit Adam and his ilk. But the sacrifice for Adam goes beyond that – a clean underwear daily, put the toilet sit down, aim accurately while peeing, using the dirty basket, not eating the dessert first, and showering daily, among others. Tall order but Adam makes the move.

5. Love making
Okay, so Adam is horny like a dog (he is a dog after all) but Eve has a headache on the right side of the head. The following day the headache has moved to the left, and the day after that it is on the forehead. Five days later and the headache has done a full tour of the head, and Adam is still patiently waiting. Talk of sacrifices.

6. “Even the cockroaches have moved out of the house because of her nagging,” said one frustrated Adam who for once wanted to trade places with the cockroaches. But he could not, so he learned to sacrifice and listen to the whining and nagging, day in day out.

7. Chamas
Eve belongs to a job chama, a village chama, a neighbourhood chama, a family chama and many more others that demand that each weekend, she is out attending one or the other chama. Occasionally Adam is called upon to attend fund raisers for these chamas. What if Adam was in so many such chamas? Would Eve understand?

8. Mboch aka house girl
The greatest interruption to anyone’s life is that person who seems to hold more powers, than the owner of the house. And Adam apparently has no jurisdiction over this, so he must timidly hold his tongue and sacrifice the peace he holds so dear. So house girls will come and leave the house all at Eves’ whims.

9. Sundays
When will Adam nurse his hangovers, when Eve insists that he tags along to some church service with the preacher belting, and belching out some decibel levels too high to consume? The service is so loud that Adam cannot catch three of the 40 winks, but tag along he does.

10. Singlehood
To sacrifice your freedom for the sake of another being, is the greatest feat on earth. Hear that Eve. Hear.

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