Diary of an HIV-positive woman (9)

By JEZEBEL KAMBO
Published October 27, 2009

Hi. My name is Jessica but my friends (who are very few) call me Jezzie while my enemies –a constituency of them – call me Jezebel. I am 25 years old and HIV-positive. I am a mother of 4 -year –old twins – David (Didi) and Terry (Titi). This is my continuing story.

Week 2

Tuesday

I hate mornings. The house is like a battlefield with my twin soldiers either armed to fight or losing their ammunition, in this case pencils, erasers, break tins, shoes, which clothes to wear. “These shoes are smaller than my feet,” Didi screams when we are at the door. Just because he does not like those particular shoes does not mean that they are bad. After all, he is the one who chose them the last time we went shopping! Didi is back and his sister, Titi, decides that her stomach is misbehaving. She bends over and makes a face. “Okay, run but make it snappy, I will be out in a minute!”

Titi is back and jumps into the car and takes the back seat – nobody sits in front, a rule implemented after vicious fights and name callings that characterised yesterdays trip to and fro home, thus messing my entire day.I am at the gate when Titi goes. “Oops!” “What now?” I scream as I slam on the accelerator, determined not to go back to the house. Zoom! “I forgot to wear a panty!” she meekly says. This time I slam on the brakes, reverse to the house and scream at the housegirl for not supervising the kids when in the toilet. We are already running late and very soon that notorious Tudor road will be clogged with cars! I join the kids in singing their nursery rhymes. I love the kids’ energy, such a stress reliever in the morning.

The drive to their school is always something to look forward to. Charo, their sports teacher, is the reason the mornings are brighter. He is always there, a smiling warrior who does not know the power of that smile. He is there to carry the kids out of the car and to wish me a good morning. My legs go jelly each morning when he utters those words.

“Have a good day too,” I reply as I drive off in a daze. Who said that men do not show affection? Daily I look into Charo’s eyes, and I am sure that what I see is affection – for me of course! I drive to the office in a happy mood, just in time to get the call from my doctor. “Please come over when you are free. We need to talk.”‘Tomorrow, 4 p.m. after work,” I commit myself to the medical doctor.

Teresia tells me that the smell is not there anymore. What a relief! Dr Njoroge’s medicine must have worked wonders, though I was very nervous when he asked me if I could take an HIV-test. I obliged but with lots of reservations. A buibui clad lady carrying a one-month-old baby walks into the office and comes face to face with me.

“Where is Pamba?” she demands rather aggressively, looking around for Pamba. Her gesticulations is comical“How are you?” I insist on greeting her. She does not respond to my greetings but eyes me suspiciously. “Are you one of his wives?” she asks, rather too crudely. I am offended, but decide to ignore that jibe.“No. I am his boss!” I tell her coolly. She sobers up and then starts ranting about being abandoned by Pamba despite having a three-month-old baby.

“Unfortunately these are matters to be discussed out there not in here,” I am firm with her. “I don’t know what you are trying to achieve by coming here with the baby.” “He does not pay rent or buy milk for the baby, and I am starving. Surely you can send some of his salary to me!” she defends her thesis.

“We don’t do that over here. Go and get a court order instructing us to do so. If it is embarrassing him, then you have made your mark. Please leave!”She curses me as she leaves vowing to come back with policemen and policewomen to arrest Pamba. By the way, where is he? I call his number and it goes unanswered. Enquiry from Juma, the guard reveals that Pamba got a hint about the lady coming to create chaos.

“Who told him that his wife was coming here?” I ask Juma. I do not need an answer about the collusion between the two men.It is then that Teresia reveals something that she was definitely not meant to. “Pamba has fathered many children outside there. This is the fourth or fifth woman to come here about such matters!” Juma throws Teresia a dirty look. I take mental note.

To be continued.

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