Comments on: If you must fear, fear marriage

By: Renee

Renee — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:12:21 +0000

@Queen, the fear of poverty is called Peniaphobia but I do not agree that you suffer from it. What you have is a fear to be single since it will result in you being poor. So, you have Anuptaphobia honey! I like your attitude, you are such a realist.

By: Queen

Queen — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 05:23:49 +0000

I am married, and my sole reason for being married is one, ‘Financial Security’. My husband is a multi – millionaire, and i have everything that cash can possibly buy. I drive posh cars without apologies, buy designer wear clothes, take vacations abroad etc etc..i am not in for it for companionship!I am in it for the ‘benjamins baby’. My greatest fear is poverty, been there, done dat, and it wasn’t funny! So is there any word to desacribe the fear of poverty?

By: janet

janet — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:22:08 +0000

the part that impressed me most is ’show me a happy woman and I show you a sane generation.’ I had this in mind but did not have words to explain it. Otherwise I have learnt that I should not fear being single which I hv always done because of some of the reasons that I’ve found helpful. Thank you

By: Renee

Renee — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 06:24:15 +0000

Funny story Nganga. But you and I both know that the arrangement you suggested cannot work. Don’t all relationships begin like that? You are living apart and things are going on so well, but human nature is such that the more you give of yourself, the more you expect in return. From a lady’s perspective; If I am seeing a guy and I am totally committed to him, I sure as hell expect the same from him. Now to the guy, this could be a fling but we all know that a lady can never detach herself from her emotions. With us, it is just never about sex or the good times. Our emotions get involved. We get hooked and ‘fall in love’ sooner or later. When this happens, we want you all to ourselves. We don’t want to share you with some other woman. So, how can a lady agree to live apart from his boyfriend/husband and risk having another woman take her place? That can never happen! It’s just not how it works with us. You are either in or out; married/engaged/in a relationship or single. Nothing in between!

By: Nganga

Nganga — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:18:37 +0000

Renee,
On, Trouble maker’s comments:
Who makes the rules? Who says she has to be in either a firm relationship(read marriage)or single?
If she can have the best of both worlds, and she knows the consequences, I say, go on ahead, have the relationship, let him live at his house, you live at yours, enjoy each others company when you do, and when yo don’t, you still have your place.
Call it fear or selfish but I’m a believer that even husband and wife should live apart, if they want to. They have arranged visits, they live happily ever after, because men tend to start “Killing marriages’ when they feel like they’re getting suffocated. Ag guy wants to come home(sometimes to a quiet nagless house, take off his sock at the door(and no one to tell him where to put them)pick a pack of juice, drink directly from the pack/bottle and just flop onto his lazy seat, to silence. Yes, we don’t always have our Hi-fi’s/TV’s on at full volume!
Meanwhile, if she’s home alone, she will not have to keep yelling at him for leaving the toilet seat up, not making the bed, waking up on time, she can watch anything other than football and can call up her girlfriends to”talk” at anytime of the day without fearing to annoy him etc.
If the conventional institutions/relationships are not working, take out the kinks and remodel them to ways that are comfortable to the parties involved.
2)To the women/men looking at the bank account before committing to their partners, an illustration:
A rich man sat a ta a dinner lounge of one of the upper class poshy restaurants, noticed a strikingly beautiful woman seated across the table, and decided to make conversation.
Soon they were on the same table, and after enjoying their dinner, he decided to take her head on.
“Im a very rich man, I own holiday homes all over the world. My company stocks are at a record high and Forbes is about to publish my name as one of the youngest CEOs at the foreront of the ICT world. Would you sleep wiht me for a million dollars?”
She is shocked by his forwardness, but she sees the opportunity and quickly accepts.
Before the leave, he asks another question, Would you sleep with me for one dollar”
“Certainly not!What do you think I am?” she angrily retorts.
“I already know what you are, I’m only trying to establish your price” he quickly answers before heading off on his own.

By: Victorine

Victorine — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 16:31:24 +0000

A certain wise man observed that a good number of those who are mariied want to get out of it while those who have never been married long to get into it. So its true there are two extremes that of the “desperados,” who think that marriage is bread and butter and the other category of those who have tasted and seen that marriage can also be sour. I think one should really think before getting married, better a broken engagement than a broken marriage

By: Renee

Renee — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:46:53 +0000

@Pesa, you disappoint me! Women the spoilers of great relationships, you say???? If anything women are the ones that hold the families together or relationships for that matter. We are loud, but should I start naming the numerous irritating habits that men have? Unfortunately it will take too much time and so many pages. We all come with some quirks.

By: Renee

Renee — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:40:27 +0000

Yeah, that word sure is BIG (cant even try to pronounce it though). Thanks Edward, am really enlightened!!
@Okumu, you know, men have been lucky so far because most of them have been living with the ladies and having their way too. The ladies have accepted to suffer in the name of love. They think that its the way life is, the way marriage is. They have been told that marriage is not a bed or roses and when they are abused, they explain it away as part of the “thorns” that come with marriage. Well, if they could just open their eyes, if only…… I wish. I know am really stretching my luck here but I hope more and more women will come to demand what they deserve. True, marriage is not a bed of roses, but damn! this days its more like a garden of thorns!!! Infidelity, abuse(physical and emotional) name it……To cut a long story short Okumu, Men have so far been getting away with so much, too much. But your days are counted……(I hope).

By: Okumu

Okumu — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:20:04 +0000

That HIPOPPOTOMOTRANSQUESEQUEPEDAPHOBIA has cracked me up
big time. Probably it tells Renee big words are here to stay. Whether the word will ever be accepted into usage… I leave to the wind. Edward, is it a good or bad part? Renee, what do we do now? We want the sisters and we want a little of our way too.

By: Pesa

Pesa — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 15:24:29 +0000

How I wish I could be single, while at the same time, married. Women are the spoilers of great relationships. And they are the loudest!

By: edward

edward — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 17:00:33 +0000

fear or no fear,marriage is part of life.the fear of long words is referred to as HIPOPPOTOMOTRANSQUESEQUEPEDAPHOBIA

By: Renee

Renee — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 08:57:33 +0000

Your arrangement is pretty interesting. I will choose to call it “Denial”. Sounds like GAMOPHOBIA to me. So, you keep the “single” tag while at the same time you are in a “committed” relationship. You are neither in nor out. You need a break from what, each other?? There is your problem right there.If you need a break, something is wrong with that relationship. You don’t want to go forward and be fully committed (read married), and at the same time you don’t want to call it quits. So,what exactly do you want???